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| Stanford Football Field Stanford University My first attendance to a football game as an alum. The moon decided to show off |
May 24, 2011
Sliver of a Moon
Good Sneaking- Scranton Branch
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| "The Office" Filming Lot Van Nuys, CA The time my best friend took me to The Office's filming spot. You could hear my timidity shedding that day |
Keane- Tom Chaplin
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| Keane Concert Orpheum Theater, Oakland, CA Life changing concert in which I danced and cried like never before |
Good Views in Vegas
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| Enjoying Hotel Views- Venetian Hotel, Las Vegas, NV College graduation celebrations. My favorite vacation yet |
Good Wrap Ups
As I'm getting ready to leave California's glorious Bay Area, I can't help but reminisce on all of my great epiphanies.
This past year I had countless self-reflective moments....I graduated from college, started my first real job, I joined a yoga class, went to personal therapy, joined a meditation class, dance class, running club, knitting club, taught preschoolers, lived alone and single, and discovered new corners of the universe. If that doesn't get you to find yourself, I don't know what will.
So while trying to find myself, I took pictures. With only few days left of my stint here in Palo Alto, I'm ready to start saying adieu with a few gems from the past.
My next blog spots will have meaningful pictures of personal importance, but universal beauty.
This will all be in chronological order, so as to allow myself to reflect in all of this personal growth.
Here is a little teaser for what's to come ...
This past year I had countless self-reflective moments....I graduated from college, started my first real job, I joined a yoga class, went to personal therapy, joined a meditation class, dance class, running club, knitting club, taught preschoolers, lived alone and single, and discovered new corners of the universe. If that doesn't get you to find yourself, I don't know what will.
So while trying to find myself, I took pictures. With only few days left of my stint here in Palo Alto, I'm ready to start saying adieu with a few gems from the past.
My next blog spots will have meaningful pictures of personal importance, but universal beauty.
This will all be in chronological order, so as to allow myself to reflect in all of this personal growth.
Here is a little teaser for what's to come ...
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| Giddha Dance Performance Castro Valley, CA. My friends took me to watch a dance competition to cheer me up. It worked |
May 7, 2011
Good Self-Perception
I was taught to be nice, courteous and understanding.
My upbringing, friendships and tangential relationships have all reinforced these qualities within my persona. However, I became -to say it lightly- a doormat in a previous failed relationship. In an attempt to appease the crumbling relationship, I became agreeable, nauseatingly-tolerant and steeped in so much denial, I still surprise myself thinking back on it.
The most difficult part of the situation was that no one seemed to acknowledge my attempt to improve my romantic relationship with niceties as valid or natural.
My saccharine approach to appeasing the relationship was often misdiagnosed as a side effect of low self esteem on my part and manipulation from my partner's end. However, that never sat well with me. Although we were not meant for each other, I knew he was not a person of malice and that I was not lacking in self-love.
I had an epiphany when I realized that my attempt to salvage the relationship had been an acknowledgement of the good and an effort to sustain a close friendship I had cherished and benefited so much from. But this realization came only after I read an article in Psychology Today called "Counterintuitive Secret to a Glorious Relationship."
Corny title aside, what resonated with me was the article's notion that a "good" relationship is perceived as such either by actual good chemistry and interactions or by the delusion of having these great attributes. If you have the delusion that the positive attributes of your relationship outweigh the negative, then you are more likely to become tolerant (or turn the blind eye) from the bad aspects of your relationship.
So how do we know the difference between being "tolerant" or if we're stepping into "denial" zone? It all comes down to a matter of perception and context, and Sherman sums it up best:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/201105/the-counterintuitive-secret-glorious-relationship
Although others misdiagnosed my optimistic response to the crumbling relationship as a sign that I didn't value myself enough to get out of a hurtful situation, I now know that I reacted this way because of my appreciation for the good things the partnership brought me and the potential for happiness I believed it still carried.
It seems as though these days, if you are optimistic, hopeful, and motivated to maintaining a relationship, you are type-casted as pathetic and sad, especially if you're a woman. In reality, however, this unconditional love and drive is what makes women socially savvy and approachable. Who other than women would go out of their way to optimistically downplay problems because they know there is innate goodness in the "other"?
Sherman's point about the positive and negative connotations of emotional states is going to be running through my head for a while, but I'm glad that I will no longer doubt myself and my approach to navigating the world.
Realizing that I innately seek the best in relationships- even within a faulty one- makes me feel emotionally intelligent and more well rounded than a pathetic, sad, twenty-something with low self esteem.
My upbringing, friendships and tangential relationships have all reinforced these qualities within my persona. However, I became -to say it lightly- a doormat in a previous failed relationship. In an attempt to appease the crumbling relationship, I became agreeable, nauseatingly-tolerant and steeped in so much denial, I still surprise myself thinking back on it.
The most difficult part of the situation was that no one seemed to acknowledge my attempt to improve my romantic relationship with niceties as valid or natural.
My saccharine approach to appeasing the relationship was often misdiagnosed as a side effect of low self esteem on my part and manipulation from my partner's end. However, that never sat well with me. Although we were not meant for each other, I knew he was not a person of malice and that I was not lacking in self-love.
I had an epiphany when I realized that my attempt to salvage the relationship had been an acknowledgement of the good and an effort to sustain a close friendship I had cherished and benefited so much from. But this realization came only after I read an article in Psychology Today called "Counterintuitive Secret to a Glorious Relationship."
Corny title aside, what resonated with me was the article's notion that a "good" relationship is perceived as such either by actual good chemistry and interactions or by the delusion of having these great attributes. If you have the delusion that the positive attributes of your relationship outweigh the negative, then you are more likely to become tolerant (or turn the blind eye) from the bad aspects of your relationship.
So how do we know the difference between being "tolerant" or if we're stepping into "denial" zone? It all comes down to a matter of perception and context, and Sherman sums it up best:
"[What's] the difference between being forgiving, letting stuff slide, ignoring, getting over it, being strategically gullible, insensitive, or calculatedly oblivious? Other than the positive and negative connotations, I would say, not much"
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/201105/the-counterintuitive-secret-glorious-relationship
They both look delusional, don't they?
Although others misdiagnosed my optimistic response to the crumbling relationship as a sign that I didn't value myself enough to get out of a hurtful situation, I now know that I reacted this way because of my appreciation for the good things the partnership brought me and the potential for happiness I believed it still carried.
It seems as though these days, if you are optimistic, hopeful, and motivated to maintaining a relationship, you are type-casted as pathetic and sad, especially if you're a woman. In reality, however, this unconditional love and drive is what makes women socially savvy and approachable. Who other than women would go out of their way to optimistically downplay problems because they know there is innate goodness in the "other"?
Sherman's point about the positive and negative connotations of emotional states is going to be running through my head for a while, but I'm glad that I will no longer doubt myself and my approach to navigating the world.
Realizing that I innately seek the best in relationships- even within a faulty one- makes me feel emotionally intelligent and more well rounded than a pathetic, sad, twenty-something with low self esteem.
April 2, 2011
French Press
These last couple of weeks of supposed frugality have thrown several curve balls at me:
There was the birthday party - "Darn! I have to get a present?!"
Running out of shampoo - "I guess body wash will have to do"
$6 cherry plum tomatoes -they just looked *so* good... couldn't resist
...and then to my horror, I ran out of coffee filters.
I usually use the paper coffee filters on the trusted Mr. Coffee machine, but I was committed to spending close to zero dollars this week, and with my $6 cherry tomatoes, I had was forced to forgo the filters.
So I broke out the dusty French Press.
This should be easy enough, right? I had done it before and everything should run smoothly. I wouldn't have to buy coffee filters and I would use less electricity!
I boiled the water, steeped the grinds, waited the allotted time, and pressed.
The coffee? It fell short.
Mind you, I didn't use French roast beans, which are coarser and therefore more appropriate for presses, but still! The taste was not rich or bold or full bodied, but I am committed to saving money and I will make this work!
So I went to Google for answers and secrets of the Art of French Press.
Who knew you can make simple things so complicated!?
I tried it again and, still, coffee sucks. Can't wait until I reunite with more money and paper coffee filters.
There was the birthday party - "Darn! I have to get a present?!"
Running out of shampoo - "I guess body wash will have to do"
$6 cherry plum tomatoes -they just looked *so* good... couldn't resist
...and then to my horror, I ran out of coffee filters.
I usually use the paper coffee filters on the trusted Mr. Coffee machine, but I was committed to spending close to zero dollars this week, and with my $6 cherry tomatoes, I had was forced to forgo the filters.
So I broke out the dusty French Press.
It wasn't at all dusty, I promise
This should be easy enough, right? I had done it before and everything should run smoothly. I wouldn't have to buy coffee filters and I would use less electricity!
I boiled the water, steeped the grinds, waited the allotted time, and pressed.
The coffee? It fell short.
Mind you, I didn't use French roast beans, which are coarser and therefore more appropriate for presses, but still! The taste was not rich or bold or full bodied, but I am committed to saving money and I will make this work!
So I went to Google for answers and secrets of the Art of French Press.
Who knew you can make simple things so complicated!?
I tried it again and, still, coffee sucks. Can't wait until I reunite with more money and paper coffee filters.
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