Good Wrap Ups

As I'm getting ready to leave California's glorious Bay Area, I can't help but reminisce on all of my great epiphanies.

This past year I had countless self-reflective moments....I graduated from college, started my first real job, I joined a yoga class, went to personal therapy, joined a meditation class, dance class, running club, knitting club, taught preschoolers, lived alone and single, and discovered new corners of the universe. If that doesn't get you to find yourself, I don't know what will.

So while trying to find myself, I took pictures. With only few days left of my stint here in Palo Alto, I'm ready to start saying adieu with a few gems from the past.

My next blog spots will have meaningful pictures of personal importance, but universal beauty.
This will all be in chronological order, so as to allow myself to reflect in all of this personal growth.
Here is a little teaser for what's to come ...

Giddha Dance Performance Castro Valley, CA.
My friends took me to watch a dance competition to cheer me up. It worked

Good Self-Perception

I was taught to be nice, courteous and understanding.
My upbringing, friendships and tangential relationships have all reinforced these qualities within my persona. However, I became -to say it lightly- a doormat in a previous failed relationship. In an attempt to appease the crumbling relationship, I became agreeable, nauseatingly-tolerant and steeped in so much denial, I still surprise myself thinking back on it.

The most difficult part of the situation was that no one seemed to acknowledge my attempt to improve my romantic relationship with niceties as valid or natural.

My saccharine approach to appeasing the relationship was often misdiagnosed as a side effect of low self esteem on my part and manipulation from my partner's end. However, that never sat well with me. Although we were not meant for each other, I knew he was not a person of malice and that I was not lacking in self-love.

I had an epiphany when I realized that my attempt to salvage the relationship had been an acknowledgement of the good and an effort to sustain a close friendship I had cherished and benefited so much from. But this realization came only after I read an article in Psychology Today called "Counterintuitive Secret to a Glorious Relationship."

Corny title aside, what resonated with me was the article's notion that a "good" relationship is perceived as such either by actual good chemistry and interactions or by the delusion of having these great attributes. If you have the delusion that the positive attributes of your relationship outweigh the negative, then you are more likely to become tolerant (or turn the blind eye) from the bad aspects of your relationship.

So how do we know the difference between being "tolerant" or if we're stepping into "denial" zone? It all comes down to a matter of perception and context, and Sherman sums it up best:

"[What's] the difference between being forgiving, letting stuff slide, ignoring, getting over it, being strategically gullible, insensitive, or calculatedly oblivious? Other than the positive and negative connotations, I would say, not much"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/201105/the-counterintuitive-secret-glorious-relationship

They both look delusional, don't they? 

Although others misdiagnosed my optimistic response to the crumbling relationship as a sign that I didn't value myself enough to get out of a hurtful situation, I now know that I reacted this way because of my appreciation for the good things the partnership brought me and the potential for happiness I believed it still carried.

It seems as though these days, if you are optimistic, hopeful, and motivated to maintaining a relationship, you are type-casted as pathetic and sad, especially if you're a woman. In reality, however, this unconditional love and drive is what makes women socially savvy and approachable. Who other than women would go out of  their way to optimistically downplay problems because they know there is innate goodness in the "other"?

Sherman's point about the positive and negative connotations of emotional states is going to be running through my head for a while, but I'm glad that I will no longer doubt myself and my approach to navigating the world.

Realizing that I innately seek the best in relationships- even within a faulty one- makes me feel emotionally intelligent and more well rounded than a pathetic, sad, twenty-something with low self esteem.

French Press

These last couple of weeks of supposed frugality have thrown several curve balls at me:
There was the birthday party -  "Darn! I have to get a present?!"
Running out of shampoo - "I guess body wash will have to do"
$6 cherry plum tomatoes -they just looked *so* good... couldn't resist
...and then to my horror, I ran out of coffee filters.

I usually use the paper coffee filters on the trusted Mr. Coffee machine, but I was committed to spending close to zero dollars this week, and with my $6 cherry tomatoes, I had was forced to forgo the filters.

So I broke out the dusty French Press.

It wasn't at all dusty, I promise

This should be easy enough, right? I had done it before and everything should run smoothly. I wouldn't have to buy coffee filters and I would use less electricity!

I boiled the water, steeped the grinds, waited the allotted time, and pressed.
The coffee? It fell short.

Mind you, I didn't use French roast beans, which are coarser and therefore more appropriate for presses, but still! The taste was not rich or bold or full bodied, but I am committed to saving money and I will make this work!

So I went to Google for answers and secrets of the Art of French Press.

 http://coffeegeek.com/guides/presspot

Who knew you can make simple things so complicated!?

I tried it again and, still, coffee sucks. Can't wait until I reunite with more money and paper coffee filters.

Vegan Bread

A couple of days ago I decided that I would try to be frugal and save as much money as possible before my vacation. So as part of the frugality, I would bake my own sandwich bread. 

I have not had much luck making loaves of bread, they would always come out too chewy or hard. 

Still, I thought I would try a new recipe anyway. I searched for vegan whole wheat bread and up came a (non-vegan) recipe from allrecipe.com. So I vegan-ized it and increased the fiber: 

• I substituted agave nectar for the honey, and olive oil for the butter. 
• I substituted the bread flour for oat bran-- I simply ground up oats in my spice grinder until it was powdery like flour. 

Et voila! 

My bread, she's a beauty

I do have to say that it took me several hours, but it was very much worth it- it's delicious, the perfect consistency, and I had to stop myself from consuming it all at once. 

Here is the link: http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/simple-whole-wheat-bread/Detail.aspx

yum!

The steps were simple and it called for common ingredients- the good reviews on allrecipe.com do not lie, it's a winner! 

I might never have to buy my $5 loaf of vegan sandwich bread again. 

Good to be Frugal

Since I graduated from college last June I have not had a vacation. I started my full time job two weeks after graduation ceremony and I have not had a real (non Christmas) vacation since.

Finally my brother and I decided that we wanted to go to Europe, so we booked our flight and plans are a go.

However, this impromptu vacation has created a bit of a financial strain on me. I have enough to survive and not find myself in debt, but I would like to continue my bank account's growing trend.

So I decided that i'm going on a frugal fast. For the weeks prior to my vacation, I intend to spend as close to $0.00 as possible.

For a couple of seconds I thought I could really go without spending anything since I could live off of my pantry, but I'm vegan and most of my undergraduate studies had to do with nutrition, so I know better than to forgo fresh fruits and veggies for weeks. So, close to zero will have to do :)

What does frugal fast entail?

• No coffee shop runs. This is anxiety producing, but it's just a matter of reminding myself that it's for a greater good.
• Walking to the grocery store or farmer's market instead of driving.
• Only buying fruits and veggies because I have dry beans, grains, flour and dry pastas at home
• Double checking my commutes, making sure I take the most efficient route (with $4.59 a gallon here in the bay area, this is a must).
• Car trips to the mall, where all happiness is kept, will have to cease. I could take the train, since it's free for me, but I just know I'm bound to find something cute. 
• Baking my own bread for my lunch sandwiches.
• No hair cut before the vacation - however, this is always a splurge and wounds/chips-away/dilapidates my wallet regardless of how great my paycheck is. 

I don't pay extra for utilities and I pack my lunches for work everyday, so I can't really cut any more corners on those.

 Do you have any more ideas on how I could save some dough before splurging on my trip? 

Good Looks and Good Music

This might have nothing to do with saving the world- but it has everything to do with saving the world:


Mark Ronson.

Mark Ronson 

He is a music producer extraordinaire and he's gorgeous. My best friend came back from a trip to Melbourne, Australia and introduced me to his music. I fell head over heels.


I first heard Somebody to Love Me, which he produced and has vocals with Boy George.
After that first listen, I bought his latest album Record Collection.  Then I bought Versions.. I couldn't sleep listening to these great albums, I wanted to soak them all in.


He is not well known here in California (or the US for that matter), but is a smash around the globe. Americans are definitely missing out.


But Ronson is more than just music- he's a socialite and embodies a lifestyle that only 0.0001% of the world can enjoy, and I dig it.


Through his music, I will vicariously live that jazzy, upbeat, urban life he leads, and be pumped about saving the world (while monetarily contributing to the upkeep of his amazing good looks).

Give him a listen. I know you'll enjoy it! :)


The Bike Song (from his album Record Collection)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVELTxKRoHA&feature=feedlik


Just: (from Versions)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2DlKf8_8Ck&feature=feedlik

Good cup of coffee

awesome cup o' joe

Auberge du Soleil, Rutherford, CA

I love coffee. I am addicted. I have approximately 8 cups of black coffee a day.
I like Peet's Arabian Java, thank you very much, and when I found out it had health benefits, I did a little happy dance *happy dance!*


http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/coffee_health_benefits


So next time someone chooses tea over coffee and looks at you over their snooty cup of green tea, you pick up that Java and say "SALUT!"